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Resilient: How to Build an Unshakeable Core of Calm, Strength and Happiness by Dr. Rick Hanson is an excellent book that teaches readers what resilience is, how our brains are wired, and covers in detail how to grow in 12 different skills that boost our resilience.
This article will summarize key points from the book and how they align with the model of resilience we use at Tria Corda Ministry.
To learn more about the lessons in this article, I recommend picking up a copy of the book.
What is Resilience?
Dr. Hanson describes resilience as the ability to cope with adversity and push through challenges. He writes that resilience enables recovery from loss and trauma, well-being, happiness, love, and peace.
Hanson makes an interesting point about the connections between well-being and resilience. He writes that both promote each other in an upward spiral. Therefore, if we engage in activities that promote our well-being, such as exercising or praying, we will enhance our resilience, which in turn will boost our overall well-being.
How Our Brains are Wired
Hanson then goes on to write that our brains are wired to seek to fulfill three basic needs:
- Safety
- Satisfaction
- Connection.
We can fulfill these needs in one of four ways:
- Recognizing what is true
- Using our internal resources
- Regulating our thoughts, feelings, and actions
- Relating well with others and the world
Hanson writes that when we meet these needs using these four means, we can grow in resilience. He combines these two points to create a list of 12 skills to promote resilience, which I have recreated below. These 12 skills are:
- Compassion
- Mindfulness
- Learning
- Grit
- Gratitude
- Confidence
- Calm
- Motivation
- Intimacy
- Courage
- Aspiration
- Generosity
Hanson then covers each of the twelve skills in the rest of the book, chronicling how they enhance resilience and offering ways to develop them. The following section will include summaries of each of these skills.
The Twelve Skills of Resilience
- Compassion: When we can recognize pain in others and want to help relieve it. We must first cultivate self-compassion, because if we can’t acknowledge and seek to alleviate our pain, we won’t be able to do so for others.
- Mindfulness: Being present in the moment. We can cultivate mindfulness in prayer and also through the use of The Mindful Catholic exercises. Mindfulness also helps us to meet our needs in healthy ways, as it provides the space to think through things.
- Learning: Learning new skills and being open to the world around us.
- Grit: Resourcefulness, perseverance, and believing in our power to take charge. Hanson suggests taking the time to care for our bodies (exercising, nutrition, and sleep) to develop these skills. I also recommend Grit by Angela Duckworth to learn more about this skill.
- Gratitude: Taking the time to practice gratitude daily
- Confidence: We can grow in confidence through good, supportive relationships and by learning to counter negative, irrational thoughts with the truth. I recommend Change Your Thinking by Sarah Edelman for exercises that help improve your thinking patterns.
- Calm: Taking the time every day to relax intentionally. This time helps raise our baseline of calmness. Hanson suggests engaging in deep breathing, when we exhale longer than we inhale, as it helps to slow down our heart rate.
- Motivation: Finding goals we love and taking steps to accomplish them
- Intimacy: Close, nurturing relationships with others.
- Courage: Developing courage, especially in relationships
- Aspiration: Similar to motivation, finding goals to pursue that involve your likes, talents, and values
- Generosity: Giving of yourself and of your time.
How the Takeaways of Resilient by Rick Hanson Map Onto Our Model of Resilience
Here at Tria Corda Ministry, we believe that habits in five areas help to promote resilience:
- Mental Health: Living in accordance with the truth in your thinking
- Physical Health: Good friendships and taking care of your body
- Spiritual Health: Prayer and regular reception of the Sacraments
- Virtue: Living a virtuous life and striving for that
- Vocation: Investing in our state-in-life vocations and other callings God gives us.
Growing in resilience can help us to heal from trauma, carry our crosses well, and live the abundant life God calls us to.
The 12 skills Hanson promotes in this book map well with these five areas.
First, mindfulness, countering our negative thoughts to grow in confidence, exercising our minds through learning, and self-compassion all involve learning the truth and countering the lies we have come to believe.
Second, intimacy, caring for our bodies to grow in grit, and calming ourselves to avoid constant stress help us grow in physical health.
Third, we can incorporate both mindfulness and gratitude into our prayer lives.
Fourth, growing in generosity, compassion, courage, and perseverance are all essential virtues.
Finally, finding goals to pursue that align with our likes, talents, and values helps us to live out our vocation.
How to Apply the Lessons of Resilient by Rick Hanson
To apply the lessons from this book, I recommend first picking up a copy to learn about each of these 12 skills.
Then, do a self-evaluation to determine which of the five areas of habits you are weakest in.
Finally, to improve in this weakest area, use the exercises in this book.
To learn more about resilience, visit the page below.