As we have seen in other articles, ACEs can negatively impact our friendships and romantic relationships.
Research has shown that the negative impacts of ACEs on our friendships and romantic relationships, and even those not directly related to our relationships with others, can be rooted in ACEs’ impact on our attachment style.
This article provides a brief introduction to attachment theory and discusses how ACEs can increase the likelihood of adverse attachment styles.
Before we begin any discussion about the effects of trauma, it is important to remind ourselves that healing and resilience are possible. Many factors can prevent these effects from occurring in the first place, and many factors can lead to their healing if they have occurred.
Our purpose here is to learn about potential ways trauma can adversely impact people, so that we can then use this knowledge to create trauma-informed, healing ministries.
If you begin to feel overwhelmed at any point when reading this article, please pause and seek guidance from a trained mental health professional, a trusted friend, or a mentor.
An Introduction to Attachment Theory
Attachment theory is based on the idea that our early experiences with our parents form a stable style of viewing ourselves and others, and of relating to others, that carries into adulthood (1). This phenomenon is called our attachment style.
The attachment style we develop depends on how our parents consistently respond to our needs. An important note here is that no parent is perfect, and no parent responds the same way 100% of the time, so the attachment style is based on how parents respond most of the time.
Researchers have proposed four attachment styles based on how parents respond to their children and how children, in turn, respond to their parents.
The first style is secure attachment, which is the best for psychological adjustment, optimal emotion regulation, future relationships, and problem-solving ability (2). This style of attachment results from a caregiver consistently being responsive to and attuned to their child’s needs. Children with a secure attachment go to their parents when distressed to find comfort and security and perceive others as dependable and trustworthy.
The other three attachment styles, in contrast, are insecure and not optimal for well-being.
The first type of insecure attachment is anxious attachment. This attachment style results from parents being only intermittently available to their child and unpredictable in their responses. As a result, a child tends to become extremely needy and emotional to gain their parents’ attention.
The second type of insecure attachment is avoidant attachment. This attachment style results from a parent who consistently becomes annoyed by the child’s needs and ignores or withdraws from the child. This type of attachment style results in children ignoring their caregivers when distressed
The third type of insecure attachment, and the most adverse type, is disorganized attachment. This type of attachment style results from caregivers being frightening, distressing, or trauma-inducing to their children, so children are unable to figure out how to respond to their parents.
In adulthood, these childhood attachment styles look like the following:
- Secure: Having positive views of self and others.
- Anxious: Being highly emotional and highly dependent on others
- Avoidant: Denying one’s need for intimacy and avoiding relationships
- Disorganized: Simultaneously seeking and rejecting connection with others.
The Effects of ACEs on Attachment Styles
Researchers have found that exposure to ACEs increases the odds of having one of the insecure attachment styles (3). This finding makes sense because many ACEs are parent behaviors that cause insecure attachment styles, and ACEs can impact our ability to relate to others.
Additionally, these resulting difficulties with attachment have been found to explain other impacts of ACEs.
For example, in one study, attachment insecurity explained the association between ACEs and lower levels of hope, an essential driver of our overall well-being (1). Additionally, in another study, attachment difficulties explained the relationship between ACES and lower life satisfaction and more mental and physical health problems (4).
Conclusion
Overall, exposure to ACEs is associated with higher odds of attachment difficulties.
The good news is that even if we developed an insecure attachment style due to ACE exposure, we can find healing and build a secure attachment style. I highly recommend checking out our healing resources page to begin this healing journey.