If you begin to feel overwhelmed at any point when reading this article, please pause and seek guidance from a trained mental health professional, a trusted friend, or a mentor.
St. Margaret of Cortona was born into a peasant farming family in Italy. When she was seven years old, her mother died.
Without her mother’s guidance, Margaret became reckless and wild, struggling with a temper.
Two years after her mother’s death, Margaret’s father remarried. Her stepmother thought Margaret was too wild and did not provide her with the mother’s love she needed and craved. So, she began to seek that affection and love elsewhere.
When Margaret was 12, she agreed to become a man’s mistress. This man was named Arsenio, and Margaret lived with him for nine years, during which time they had a son together.
Initially, Arsenio had promised to marry Margaret, but he never did. Margaret had doubts about her situation and desired to live a virtuous life, but she could not bring herself to leave Arsenio.
One day, Arsenio went away on business, and he did not return on the day he had planned. Eventually, his dog came to Margaret and led her into the forest. There, she found the body of Arsenio. Someone had murdered him.
The sight of Arsenio’s body shocked her, and she immediately began to feel intense grief and shame over how her actions had separated her from God and her family.
So, she gave Arsenio’s possessions to his family and set out with her son to return to her father’s home. When she arrived, her father, urged by her stepmother, refused to take his daughter and grandson back in.
Margaret had heard that the Franciscans in Cortona would take in repentant sinners like herself. So, with nowhere else to go, she set out for Cortona.
Two women in Cortona took Margaret and her son in, and connected her to the Franciscans, two of whom became her spiritual directors.
For three years, Margaret struggled with temptations to return to her prior way of life. Because of her early experiences and the lack of love she received as a child, Margaret also felt she needed to earn God’s love.
She turned to excessive penances to overcome her temptations and earn God’s love and forgiveness. These penances included going to Mass with a rope around her neck. She also sought to maim her face. Thankfully, the friars stepped in and prevented her from taking these penances too far.
The friars taught her that she didn’t need to earn God’s love, and that, in fact, God loved her unconditionally. All God wanted was her love. They recommended that she focus on prayer and charitable works to find the peace she craved, and they helped her to engage in wise penances.
As Margaret followed their advice, she encountered the unconditional love of Christ, which she had been seeking in all of the wrong places, and overcame her temptations.
Three years after her conversion, Margaret became a Franciscan tertiary. She established a congregation of tertiary sisters and built a hospital to help her serve the poor and the sick. In her prayer, she spent hours before the Eucharist, meditating on the Passion of Christ.
People began to seek her out for counsel as word of her radical conversion spread, and she helped many sinners to, like her, encounter Christ’s unconditional love in a life-changing way.
Lessons From St. Margaret of Cortona
Sin Can Be the Result of Seeking Love in the Wrong Ways
Margaret’s sinful living situation resulted from the lack of unconditional love she received in her childhood home. Through her relationship with Arsenio, she attempted to find the unconditional love she craved, but in the wrong places.
Experiencing trauma at the hands of those who ought to love us unconditionally can lead to addiction, unhealthy relationships, and more as we attempt to grasp the unconditional love we have not received.
Margaret’s healing came through prayer, especially resting in God’s presence in Eucharistic adoration. Her time in prayer helped her realize that God loved her unconditionally and helped her overcome her temptation to grasp at unconditional love.
This prayer was the result of the encouragement and advice of her spiritual directors, who helped to correct the false image of God that she held.
Margaret’s life teaches us the root of so many sins, and the tools we can use (prayer and good relationships) to heal us at the roots of these sins.
The Importance of Guidance
Margaret’s early experiences led her to believe she had to earn God’s love. The advice of her spiritual directors helped her to become aware of these false beliefs and correct them.
Margaret teaches us that, when we are on the journey of healing after trauma, guidance from therapists, spiritual directors, mentors, and others can play an important role.
God Can Bring Beauty Out of Suffering
In the final years of her life, Margaret had a beautiful mission of prayer, service to the poor and sick, and counseling penitent sinners. This beautiful mission was born out of the trauma of her early years and the murder of Arsenio.
Margaret’s mission followed three years of battling temptation, healing, praying, and seeking guidance from spiritual directors. She had to have this period of healing before God sent her out on her new mission.
Margaret teaches us the importance of engaging in our healing journey through prayer and seeking guidance from others, as well as the beautiful things God can bring out of it.
May St. Margaret of Cortona intercede for all of us on our healing journey.