If you begin to feel overwhelmed at any point when reading this article, please pause and seek guidance from a trained mental health professional, a trusted friend, or a mentor.

St. Mary of Edessa was born into a noble family in the fourth century. She was an orphan by the age of 7.

Mary’s uncle, the holy hermit St. Abraham Kidunaia, adopted her. He built her a cell near him. From their cells, he and Mary could talk to each other. For twenty years, Mary lived in her cell, living a life of prayer and sacrifice under Abraham’s guidance.

Then, things changed. A monk who did not live up to his vows began visiting Abraham under the guise of seeking spiritual advice. In reality, his visits were meant to groom Mary. This grooming continued for over a year until the monk succeeded in seducing her.

Mary knew that she had sinned, and her shame overcame her. She wished for death and thought that her sin was unforgivable. Overcome with grief, shame, and despair, she ran away from the hermitage and became a prostitute.

Abraham was unaware of what had happened. On the night that Mary ran away, he had a dream of a dragon eating a dove. Two days later, he dreamed of the dragon again, but this time, something had torn its stomach open. He reached inside and pulled out the dove, which was unharmed.

Abraham called out to Mary to tell her about his strange dreams, but she didn’t answer. Abraham then realized that his dream symbolized what had happened to Mary.

Abraham fasted and prayed for his spiritual daughter for two years. Eventually, he learned where Mary was and what her new occupation was.

Without hesitation, Abraham left the hermitage for the first time in years to find Mary. He disguised himself as a soldier and pretended to make an appointment with Mary.

When he and Mary were alone, he began to cry and begged her to come home. His love so moved Mary that she agreed to return.

Within several years of her return, Mary received the gift of miracles, which she had not had before. Through this gift, God showed that He had restored her. Her life echoes Paul’s words: “Where sin increased, grace overflowed all the more” (Romans 5:20)

Lessons from St. Mary of Edessa

When we face trauma and other wounding experiences, we can fall into the temptation to self-medicate our pain through sin, instead of turning to the Father in our pain. This was the case for Mary. The monk’s use of her broke her, and instead of turning to God’s mercy, she sank deeper into sin.

Self-medication is an understandable reaction, but in the end, it does more harm than good as it pulls us farther and farther from God, the source of our healing. Then, sin can lead to feelings of shame, which we may be tempted to further self-medicate, pulling us into a vicious cycle.

Through her uncle’s love and an encounter with God’s mercy, Mary was able to break the cycle of self-medication and sin. She teaches us that the Father is always willing to forgive and always waits with open arms to welcome us back, if only we will approach Him.

The role of St. Abraham in Mary’s story is also a powerful lesson for those who watch those we love who are in this cycle of self-medication and shame. Through him, we learn the power of prayer, fasting, and unconditional love. Abraham’s love for Mary, despite her fall, helped her to see God’s mercy and be willing to come home.

May we, like Abraham, be willing to follow the example of our Good Shepherd, and pray, fast, and love those we love who have fallen into a cycle of sin.

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